Eulogy for Laura 

Words that arose from a broken heart

Dianne Bady
Dec. 15, 2001, (at Laura Forman's memorial service).

"I lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help."

Laura’s spirit is alive. Laura, we love you. Help me out here folks – Laura, we love you!

Laura died while she was fiercely defending the mountains and the people she loved. Beneath her stunning beauty, Laura was fierce. She was fierce in her fight for the land and the people. She was fierce in her fight to leave a better world for her son Donald.

But it was a fierceness rooted in love. I have never known anyone with such a capacity for love. I’ve never known anyone who gave love so freely.

It’s been my privilege to have spent much of the past five days with Laura’s family. Her family is where her love was focused the most strongly.

Laura loved her husband, Mike, and her son, Donald, with a wild fierceness. She started dating Mike when she was only seventeen. There’s never been any man for Laura but Mike. As Mike’s mother says, they were soul mates. As Mike’s father says, Laura was accomplished in everything she did.

Laura and Mike shared a passion for nature. When Laura found an injured screech owl a few weeks ago, she and Mike took care of it until they were able to get expert help. Together, they cared for stray animals, until their house held four dogs and six cats. And of course, they were a team in raising Donald.

Laura struggled mightily to balance her work with the time she spent with her family. I’ve seen her cry when she felt she’d not given enough time and care to Mike. I’ve seen her weep when she left home with sharp words to Mike, words that arose out of a too busy life.

Laura worked too hard. We all know that. Once she was focused on a task, the only way she could be pulled away was if Donald needed her. If Donald needed her, she dropped everything.

Laura, left, at the coal rally put on by Rep. Capito, center.

I see Laura’s love of life, her love of LIGHT, shining through Donald’s eyes. Please see the photo of Laura with many of her family members – a photo taken when Donald was still a baby. Everyone else was looking at the camera, but Laura’s eyes were on Donald.

On gray days, I often saw Laura as a flash of brilliance. Where did that flash of brilliance come from? Where did she get that enormous capacity for love? Much of this is a mystery that I can only thank God for. But it’s also obvious that Laura was the product of a family filled with love.

From her mother, Geneva, Laura got her fire and her grit. Laura’s immense energy, her fierceness, came from her mother, who loves her with wild abandon. Laura got her love for beauty, her love of flowers, from her mother.

Laura’s father, Jack, tells of how from the time she was very small, Laura insisted that they stop the car if a turtle was on the road, so the turtle could be rescued. When there were a lot of little toads in their yard, Laura insisted on walking in front of Jack’s lawnmower so that she could chase the toads out of harm’s way. Jack says it took a long time to mow the lawn. But he loved Laura deeply, so he allowed her to slow down his lawn care. From Jack, Laura got her love of people, and her love of classical music.

I want to thank Geneva and Jack for allowing Laura to be who she was. For nurturing her uniqueness. I want to thank Geneva and Jack for not trying to push Laura into bland conventionality.

I see Laura’s emotional intensity in her sister Lynn. I see Laura’s endearing silliness in Lynn. Watching Lynn romp and frolic with Donald, I see Laura. When Lynn cussed a blue streak at a mistake one newspaper made in Laura’s obituary, I saw Laura in her.

Laura’s love of animals was shared with her sister Gayle. Laura talked about how as a child, she and Gayle would ride horses. Laura shared her fierce determination with Gayle, who has devoted her life to training and caring for horses.

And Eric was always Laura’s baby brother. I remember how when Eric was in college in Virginia, Laura and Mike often drove there to bring Eric to spend the weekend with them. In Eric, I see Laura’s kindness and her gentleness. I see Laura’s tender side.

How very much I’ve learned from Laura over the years. Who I am today has been immeasurably influenced by Laura. To all of Laura’s family – Mike, Donald, Geneva, Jack, Lynn, Gayle and Eric – thank you for helping her to be such a special person.

I’ve been Laura’s close friend and co-worker for nine years. At times, we disagreed. But she taught me how to disagree openly, how to resolve differences quickly rather than to let them fester.

Laura and I really only ever had one argument. But it seems like we had this one argument hundreds of times. It went like this:

“Dianne, I want to do … such and such.”

“Laura, you’ve already committed yourself … to this, to this, to this, and to this. You have to take care of YOURSELF too!”

Countless times, I begged, pleaded and threatened her - “Laura stay home tomorrow! Take some time off!” But it mostly didn’t work. Sometimes I’d try to get her to PROMISE me that she’d take some time off tomorrow. Mostly, she refused.

But even when she did promise, too often it was this scenario – I’d call the office early in the morning and she’d answer the phone. When she heard my voice, she’d say, “Damn! I knew I shouldn’t have answered that phone!”

For the past year, Laura has had a paid sabbatical coming to her. Janet, Vivian, Maryanne, Denise, Dot and I talked to her often about setting a date to begin her sabbatical time off. But there was always something to do that was more important to her. So her sabbatical never happened.

I want to share just a few memories.

Years ago, when Laura and Mike lived in Kenova, there was a public meeting that I remember most clearly. Ashland Oil officials and government regulators were at the Kenova town hall to hear residents’ concerns about Ashland’s then-pattern of pollution violations. While Laura spoke, one Ashland Oil official was talking to the person sitting next to him. This was more than Laura could bear. She looked him in the eye and shouted out, “You wipe that smarmy look off your face! You listen to me!”

As the meeting was winding down, that Ashland Oil official went to Mike and asked, “Can’t you control your wife?”

Obviously, that man did not know Laura.

Last year, Senator Byrd tried to push through a legislative rider that would have made it easier and quicker to permit more mountaintop removal mines.

When folks from national groups told Laura to get West Virginians to Washington quickly, Laura organized a busload of people to travel to DC in one day – a phenomenal organizing feat. She had that bus chartered and filled with people in one day.

But she did run into a snag while trying to charter the bus. The bus company owner refused to let her use a bus. He said that pro–mountaintop removal miners had just used his buses to go to Washington to argue in favor of more mountaintop removal. So Laura called a reporter. The reporter called the bus company to get the story on why Laura was not allowed to charter a bus.

Within minutes, the bus owner called Laura to say that she could have a bus after all.

Senator Byrd’s attempt to make it easier and quicker to permit new mountaintop removal mines was defeated.

And when the bus pulled back into Huntington, the bus driver said that this was the best group of people he’d ever driven for.

Please see the photo of Laura in a chicken suit, standing just a few feet away from Governor Wise. Bob Wise was smiling and waving to the crowd, trying to pretend that there was not a chicken in his face.

Laura nurtured me in ways that no one else did. Her passing leaves such a hole in my life. She picked me up when I fell. How I wish I could have picked her up when she fell on Monday – the worst day of my life.

Shortly before her death, Laura gave me an ornament for my Christmas tree. It’s an angel holding a shovel. What an unusual image – an angel with a shovel. And it’s not even a fancy shovel. The shovel looks rusted and well used.

Laura sharing a lighthearted moment with mountaintop removal mining activist Larry Gibson of Kayford Mountain.

This angel isn’t just hanging out in cosmic bliss. This is a WORKING angel.

Laura, honey, please remember – you’ve got a sabbatical coming before you dig in up there.

(The screech owl was released outside of Mike and Laura’s home after Laura’s memorial service. The owl flew strongly up into the air and away from the watching crowd.)

Laura's family and OVEC's staff and volunteers extend our deepest gratitude to the hundreds of you who shared your thoughts of sympathy and encouragement, your pain, your monetary  memorials, and your commitment to carry on in Laura's memory.  Your our outpouring of support has helped us immeasurably as we grieve and carry on.